diary entry eleven

i think my mind has attempted to time travel

back to what was and what-ifs that it forgot to see the greatness of all the nows.

the past calls in different ways and reminds you of all that was in your grasp; it reminds you of the hurt, the revenge and all it wants you to hold on to.

but the one thing i’ve learnt about falling for the charms of the past is that its only reward is regret and unhappiness.

it’s hard to remember the nature of the past and not want to succumb to its familiarity, especially in that wait, when it’s just you, and your faith, and nothing else.

we’re all waiting for something; sometimes you can hear it calling for you, and it’s not just that still small voice.

i’m still here, waiting, but LOOK— look at it all, and all that you have achieved, and elevated from because the present can be so beautiful.

it’s a decision you must make every day to keep moving forward as the past will call, but i hope you never pick up.

you have to be so assured in yourself, your thoughts, in who you are and in what you stand for.

i want to talk about it all, but i think it has tired me.

i want to tell you about this experience and how it feels to make the conscious effort to want better.

it’s the only thing i want you to believe— that you deserve better and better is coming.

it’s all my faith stands on.

it keeps me going,

even on those days where the only light lit was that rosemary candle.

i pray for you on the days that it’s hard to choose what’s good for you.

be gentle with yourself on those days because they will come and you will need something to tether to— to hold it altogether.

and as we move into the new year, i hope the voice of your mind continues to echo love, kindness, peace and joy to you.

don’t be worried;

don’t be worried;

don’t be worried.

m.d.☁️